This New Life

This month has truly been amazing and life altering as well. At the beginning of this month I was still walking, riding the bus, and taking Bart to work which took me a total of 7.5 hours roundtrip just to work five hours. After praying to God and explaining my need to have a car He gave me a plan to save my money and six weeks later I would have a car. I love God and His awesomeness; He turned around because of my obedience and surprised me by giving me a car five weeks early. I am now driving and have been for two weeks. It has truly made going to work a much easier task.

In addition to my new transportation, God has also given me the strength to get back on track with health and fitness. I begin the Daniel’s Fast four weeks ago and still have two weeks to go. I have lost a total of 13 pounds so far and I have to say my body is looking much better and I feel better mentally, and emotionally. Because of this I have committed to continue my eating as a vegetarian with the same rules I use for the Daniel’s fast. I believe that God will give me strength and also bless me. Along with my healthy eating I will begin my workout routine again and in 44 weeks I will be at my goal weight.

The past thirteen years have been challenging and rewarding. However, the past ten months have shown me a lot about myself and the decisions I made in my past which were both detrimental and beneficial. I have to say that the best decision I made in the past thirteen years was to serve God and help people. The worst decision I made was to ignore myself and my feelings and fall prey to depression and suicide attempts and thoughts. It has taken me many years to forgive, forget and move on. Though some days I am reminded of the negative things of my past because they may still affect my present, I know that I am moving forward to a better future. I am very close to my 100% healing and I am feeling great about it.

My life is in a transition state leaving the old Jasmine behind and reaching towards the new and improved Jasmine. I have learned and still learning what makes me happy, sad, angry, etc. and how to deal with these emotions in a healthy way. I know God has a plan for me and I am willing to follow His lead. He has blessed me and is still in the blessing business. He has made many promises to me and I have made promises to Him. I can’t expect Him to keep His promises and I don’t keep mine, even though God doesn’t operate like that, I’m not one to take advantage of people because I know what that feels like.

Though I am still homeless and have been for the past thirteen years going from family member’s house to family members house, living in my car, living at the church, living with my classmate, rooming with a friend, and now I’m currently back at my mom’s. If I didn’t know the real reason why I was homeless I would be depressed right now. Mostly everything I owned down through the years I have had to give away or throw away. I know it’s all replaceable but at the same time it’s sad that all I own fits into my car.

I am now 31 years old and I have yet to experience many things. I was given my grandfather’s car before he passed and my mother finished paying for it because I was in college and had no income. But this year was the first year I bought my first car with my name, social security, credit score, and income and I have to say it felt nerve racking and good at the same time. I lived by myself for 3.5 months but the apartment was my father’s, he left and I was staying there the remainder of his lease. So I’m sure you can feel my anticipation to buy my first house or condo or even rent my first apartment. I have never been married, nor had children. Honestly, I’ve never really and truly lived independently. I have yet to see this wonderful world God has made because I have been sheltered and trapped by my emotions for so long. I am ready to break free.

I have hopes, prayers, and plans of leaving my comfort zone and familial surroundings. I desire to attend an Ivy League university to obtain my PhD after I complete my Master’s degree and start a new life in the same city and state of my school. I hope to get married there and raise a family and just visit my family on a yearly basis. I hope to become a great writer and famous author and do lots of traveling. I can’t wait to go on my first cruise and get a passport and go to my first country. I have so many firsts to look forward to. This year was my first year moving away from everyone to attend Pepperdine, and going to New York, Florida, and Hawaii.

I am on my way to bigger and better things and I know that if I stay focused, obey God’s leading, and be true to myself and my feelings and desires then someday soon all my dreams will come true and I will have God to thank and give the glory to. Peace & Blessings #FromLonerToLeader